If you're living with Grief and Trauma
Life with Grief & Trauma
It's common to feel very stressed, confused and tired following a loss, death or traumatic incident.
When the loss or death happens in a sudden or traumatic way, like a suicide, disaster or an accident, then the stress, confusion and tiredness can be overwhelming.
However, it is possible to find ways to live with these events, and yet, sometimes it’s hard to know if you or other people affected are doing OK. That’s where good support and connecting with someone who is willing to be with you, listen and connect, is useful.
What Helps?
There is no single ‘right way’ to deal with grief and trauma – everyone’s different and needs different things.
Trusting your own instincts or know-how and having a person to be a sounding board can be really helpful at times like this. Practical strategies that make sense to you can help also.
Below are some ideas that might be useful to you or someone you know.
If you have already tried most of these things and life continues to feel difficult, then you might consider talking to a qualified counsellor or support person.
You will need someone who you feel you can connect to and who has some experience in grief and trauma.
Grief & Trauma Support offers counselling and support to any person living with loss, grief or trauma.
Contact Greg to arrange an appointment -
Email - gproberts@fastmail.fm
Phone - 0415 132 302
I provide services at reasonable and low cost with my fees negotiated based on income, with all fees under $150 for a 1 hour session.
It's common to feel very stressed, confused and tired following a loss, death or traumatic incident.
When the loss or death happens in a sudden or traumatic way, like a suicide, disaster or an accident, then the stress, confusion and tiredness can be overwhelming.
However, it is possible to find ways to live with these events, and yet, sometimes it’s hard to know if you or other people affected are doing OK. That’s where good support and connecting with someone who is willing to be with you, listen and connect, is useful.
What Helps?
There is no single ‘right way’ to deal with grief and trauma – everyone’s different and needs different things.
Trusting your own instincts or know-how and having a person to be a sounding board can be really helpful at times like this. Practical strategies that make sense to you can help also.
Below are some ideas that might be useful to you or someone you know.
- If you’re wondering what might help you right now, then slowing things down and trying to just focus on your immediate needs is perhaps the best thing to do as a starting point.
- Keeping yourself connected to other people who will allow you to be however you are, but who will also keep you safe and supported, is another important part of living with grief and trauma.
- Seek out and make use of safe and supportive places to spend time with those you feel most connected to.
- Take care of your physical needs by eating as well as you can, resting when you feel tired and do some basic activities that have you moving around a bit.
- If you have questions about anything at all, then seek out information or find someone to help you try and answer the questions you have.
- Some people find it helpful to have a notebook or notepad, so they can write down some of the things that are on their mind and make a list of things that they feel they need to do, so that they know they won't forget. It's very stressful trying to carry all these thoughts in your head, so perhaps get some of them down on paper, so you can go back to them.
- Often you might have strong feelings, thoughts or physical drives and sometimes it's important to take notice of them, because they might guide you on what's needed. Often though there is the problem of the signals coming through too strong and it could be harmful to act on them without thinking about the outcome. Yes you should follow your heart and do what feels right to you, but you do need to always consider this question - Will this cause any harm to me or anyone else, in any way?
- Make sure you have back up support from someone you trust and who can put things in perspective for you. This often needs to be someone who is not a close family member or friend, because family and friends are usually affected by what's happened as well and a bit of distance can be a good thing if you want advice from someone.
- It's ok to talk about the person who has died or what has changed, if you're comfortable with that. You won't forget them, and grief is mostly about finding more comfortable ways to carry your connection to that person or what has gone.
- Using rituals or doing something meaningful to you, to help you manage the changes as they happen is often useful. Light a candle at the times of day that you think of them most. Some people say there is comfort in holding things that connect you to the person or what's changed at times when you miss them most, like a photo, piece of clothing, favourite cup, etc.
- Do something each few days that makes you feel content, reminds you that life can continue and gives you little glimpses of normal life. Eat a favourite meal, listen to music you like, go for a coffee with a friend, soak in a bath, walk your dog, etc.
If you have already tried most of these things and life continues to feel difficult, then you might consider talking to a qualified counsellor or support person.
You will need someone who you feel you can connect to and who has some experience in grief and trauma.
Grief & Trauma Support offers counselling and support to any person living with loss, grief or trauma.
Contact Greg to arrange an appointment -
Email - gproberts@fastmail.fm
Phone - 0415 132 302
I provide services at reasonable and low cost with my fees negotiated based on income, with all fees under $150 for a 1 hour session.
Useful Websites
Grief - General
Grief Australia - www.grief.org.au
Bereavement C.A.R.E Centre - www.childhoodgrief.org.au
Centre for Loss & Life Transition - www.centreforloss.com
Grief's Heart - www.griefsheart.com
Griefline - www.griefline.org.au
Loss and Grief Practitioners Association - www.lgpa.org.au
Grief after the death of a child
Compassionate Friends Victoria - www.compassionatefriendsvictoria.org.au
HOPE Bereavement Care - www.bereavement.org.au
Red Nose - www.rednosegriefandloss.com.au
SANDS - Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support - www.sands.org.au
Grief after a road accident
Amber Community (Road Trauma Support Services Victoria) - www.ambercommunity.org.au
Transport Accident Comission - www.tac.vic.gov.au
Grief after suicide
Support After Suicide - www.supportaftersuicide.org.au
Suicide Call Back Service - www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - www.afsp.org
Grief after Traumatic events and disasters
After the Emergency - Red Cross - www.aftertheemergency.redcross.org.au
Grief and Trauma for Children & Adolescents
Dougy Centre - www.dougy.org
Australian Child and Adolescent Trauma, Loss & Grief Network - www.earlytraumagrief.anu.edu.au
General Counselling and Support
Lifeline - www.lifeline.org.au